The BTCC Weekend @ Oulton Park – Race Day

I REALLY should have a) worn a hat, b) found some shade and c) drunk more water during qualifying, because on Sunday I actually felt like I was cooking from the indise out. My skin felt like an actual grill. Oh and Tom Chillton put his arm around me, he must have thought I had the plague or something. Urgh.

Obviously I managed to make a bigger fool of myself when I unashamedly asked the hot rescue boy to “give me a first aid examination” – partly wanting to find out what was wrong with me, and partly trying to be a little bit flirtatious. It went down like a ton of bricks as he replied; “I can’t do that, we only cut people out of cars.” Oh, okay, that told me, can the floor please open up and suck me into a giant black hole of shame?

I knew I should have stayed in bed and let my body get better, but I’m a trooper (or stupid) and decided that I’m not going to let the team down and watch the coverage on TV from the comfort of my huge sofa, oh no, I was going to whack on the walking boots, Tellytubby suit and get my groove on trackside. Okay, and just a teeny part of me didn’t want to miss out on being a part of the excitement.

That’s the problem with marshalling kids, you join somewhere like the BMMC and you think, ‘Oh I’ll only do a couple’  but once the bug bites you and you meet (some) awesome marshals, you’ll never be able to stop – you’ll find yourself wondering what you’re missing when you’re too busy spending your weekend doing the garden or something. Tip: just flag your garden or get some decking down, and come party with me every weekend. Plan? I think so.

Photo by Matt Sayle Photography

So, the first thing I had to contend with (other than sweating like a criminal) was coping with the sound of the Eurofighter Typhoon which blasted overhead for about 10 minutes before the race started. Crikey that thing isn’t half loud. It’s a bit sexy too though, I kinda found myself wondering what the man flying it looked like. I think I’ve got a problem.  Luckily for me, the locals soon put an end to my fantasies after ringing up to complain about the noise. Erm, hello? Note to homeowner – you’ve moved next to a racetrack, noise kinda comes with the territory.

Anyway, with that little rant over it was time to get on with some racing : Out first were the BTCC boys on their first race of the day, and we were ‘lucky’ enough to welcome two of them into Knickerbrook within the first few laps. Hamilton – who had been driving rather daringly during practice – just lost it coming out of the final corner and up to Water Tower and another driver pulled off into the gravel nice and quietly. Luckily the number of marshals we had at the weekend meant that we had enough people to deal with each retirement whilst the rest of us could still get on with our roles – which was obviously making sure our hair looked great for when the TV cameras rolled past. After all, Vettel might be watching. Actually, I wonder if he could be here? He does drive a car after all. And he likes to crash into people, maybe he’s hanging out with Jason Plato?

Photo by Matt Sayle Photography
Photo by Matt Sayle Photography

The rest of the day was rather uneventful for Andy and I to be totally honest. I just spent the afternoon feeling sorry for myself, blowing my nose and sticking icepacks anywhere I could get them. I didn’t even drink any tea which, if you know me, you would know is a complete sign that I am on deaths door. Yorkshire Tea is my lifeline. My mum would be proud I said Yorkshire Tea, because I haven’t forgotten my Barnsley roots despite hanging out with all these Cheshire folks. A brew and a biccie solves all your problems she says… Well mum, it’s no good for Heat Exhaustion.

Sadly I cant expose any of Jason Plato’s dirty tactics – although quite how his front bumper can get so smashed up when he doesn‘t touch anyone in this non-contact sport is beyond me. Nor can I explain why on earth Tom Chilton had to go on Take Me Out in the hope of finding love. Yes ladies, he IS just as charming in real life, I bet he was just trying to drum up some publicity for himself and Onslow-Cole.

On the whole, a fun weekend – if only it hadn’t left me bed bound for two days and STILL feeling ill now, hell, I can’t even go to Download Festival I feel so rough. I’m not down with that. How on EARTH is it possible for me to still feel spaced out Four days later? If anyone knows of any miraculous cure to get my brain back into working gear, please, let me know!

Until next time, Team Onslow-Cole! Woo!


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